Emergency cinema

So me I’m a middle aged white male. A demographic that’s excluded from the our voices need to be heard or our stories must be told category of movies. I hate the whole notion of that. I’m more of a if you have what it takes make your movie. I decide what movies I’m going to like before I watch them. And it has nothing to do with the race sex gender or age of the person making it. 

     I don’t seek out queer black or female as subjects. But when I see a film that I get something out of and it also makes me feel like I’ve gained a newfound insight empathy affinity understanding shock surprise laugh scare tear or story from someone that just so happens to be because of an aspect signifier of their identity in a way I can access it means a little more because it’s not merely artifice. Truth is a slippery word to throw around when talking about film. I tend to avoid it. In life too. 
     Obviously there are films I’ve watched by people who check different boxes than myself that doesn’t have anything to do with the films they make. Sometimes they do sometimes they don’t. Cool. But it’s a balance. I can’t even think of that many off the top of my head. Films that are vital cinematically while also containing an element of representation that neither detracts from nor becomes the reason for its being. I could see how that might sound harshly selfish. Hey I go to the movies for the experience I get out of it not to be charitable.
     If that was all incomprehensible tedious garble what I’m trying to say is Mary Bronstein is a woman who makes movies about women and I enjoy love applaud stan worship her style of filmmaking. I’d seen Yeast (2008, Mary Bronstein) a few times and could’ve sworn or forgotten or given up the hope that we’d ever get to see a follow up by her. Until now.

 
If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025, Bronstein) is a Rose Byrne vehicle mumblecore thriller character delve of a narrative that sweeps you up you’re drowning in its brilliance never knowing where its taking you and if you can ever manage every once in a while to come up for air for a moment ceasing to be distracted by how amazing Rose Byrne’s performance is you might remember this is what offbeat indie filmmaking promised before you forgot about it. 
     It reminded me of why I once long ago became smitten enraptured embraced with the woman’s picture. Most men can only make films that express feelings like this is what it cost me to get what I wanted. But women can make films that you walk in their shoes and they show you make you feel this is what it’s like being me and it’s not easy and I’m trying and I’m vulnerable and I’m not perfect and I want someone to love me and someone to listen to me and someone to tell me what to do how to do what do I do mother wife therapist I need help you need help I want to help I do help I’ll do better I’m doing my best here I’ve given so much of my love and I’m failing I know but I won’t give up.
     Sorry things got a little cathartic in there. Mary Bronstein is a real one. She’s tough. Her characters provoke insight instigate castigate wreak havoc. Misanthropes. Gen-X ne’er-do-wells. Ah the beauty in such. It’s a character driven motor that speeds us along. And I hate movies that make you feel like they’re just trying to go as far as they can to put their protagonist through torture how much can they take but If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is not that. I never felt like it was more than I could take. It felt like LINDA’S (Byrne) stumbling was expressionistic. Stylized for emotional undertone not gratuitous substitute for dramatic structure. 
     Slightly not quite reality also achieved through this crisis culture. Therapy culture. The cool blue building calm offices with therapists treating therapists treating patients. Emergency culture. Everything’s an emergency. Notice how often that word is used. Especially followed by this isn’t an emergency. (In contrast to Linda’s daugher’s room at home red for aggravating.) A theme I’m whittling might be like society as a bunch of self-centered nuisances trying to live together although not really liking each other or wanting to so blaming but underneath it all just wanting to make it work. 
 
Cinematic flourish aptitude for Bronstein only depicting the daughter and husband as disembodied voices. And the daughter is in like the whole thing. God I love that kid. Her panicking. Her fear. Her hyper. Her desperate need for a hamster to love her so she can control it and make it do tricks for her.
     Also almost the whole entire movie is shot on a long lens. My guess is a 75mm. Close-ups of Rose Byrne literally ninety-nine percent of the film. Intense. Felt like I was watching a Cassavetes movie if I didn’t think Cassavetes’ movies were so lame. Also literally the first time I’ve seen Ivy Wolk in a movie where the quality of her personality style of attitude schtick wasn’t lost in translation. She’s rowdy perfect for Mary Bronstein. 
     There’s no way for me to know or care how much or if If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is autobiographical but I feel like the Linda character brought more life genuine effect of following a human being along a story that wasn’t manipulative uninspired calculated compromised lifeless dull Academy Award prediction Rose Byrne Actress in a Leading Role.
 
10/23/2025 AMC Phipps Plaza 14
Atlanta, GA