Tuesday, September 20, 2011

scenes from a relationship: poor pegsmanship

The world's best girlfriend in the world & I went camping in an undisclosed because it's fucking awesomely cool stay out of it so next time we don't have to go on a pig-friggin' Monday night location. In our preparations, it was revealed to us that our planned date had been declared a spare-the-air day, which meant: no campfire. This is not a huge problem, since our primary camp recipes don't require fire, and since I'm never not willing to call it a night a little early and retire to the tent for a lengthy bout of cribbage.

Bushmills(Primary camp recipe for Fat Contradiction/TWBGITW.)

That said, it was clear that we were going to need to supplement our light situation. I'm a huge fan of my new headlamp, but TWBGITW has made it clear that a lamp will grace her unruffl'd brow exactly never. Plus holding a flashlight all the time is awkward--to say nothing of holding a fleshlight all the time--and what the hell: there is a robust tradition in the human race of having a central light source around which most activities can be arrayed/arranged--and who exactly is Fat Contradiction to buck tradition?

Nobody, that's who.

As I banged the confounding box around my prospective purchase on a handy toddler, attempting to extract/assess the item ('s battery requirements, listed exactly one tiny place in a miniscule font for fuck's sake), my phone rang and I did proceed to have the following conversation.

TWBGITW: So, you picking up anything else?
Fat: Yah, I figured we'll need some extra light, so I'm getting a bug candle and a lantern.
TWBGITW: Oh, what kind of lantern?
Fat: It's the one that looks like a rocketship.
TWBGITW: Is it a good one?
Fat: ...
TWBGITW: Is it a good brand?
Fat: It's the one that looks like a rocketship. I'm getting the one that looks like a rocketship.
TWBGITW: (Patiently.) Oh, sure, of course. Well, see you later.

Kelty lantern that looks like a rocketship

--Fat, pretty happy with the lantern that looks like a rocketship

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