Thursday, December 13, 2007


Down the bar tonight, I bought a red/black DS Lite + 5 games off a kid needs to make rent. Told him I'd sell it back to him for the same dough when he's flush again; we'll see.

Sos anyways, couple months ago, Kathy Contradiction's favorite son rolled up north to hit up Pax. DDT loaned me his digimal cam'ron, but failed to print up the radtastic Reviewiera stickers we'd discussed. Thus did I take a half-dozen snaps over three days, and network not at all.

Well, maybe I networked a little bit. In this vasty line, I began a series of 'bservations that'd continue th'ought the 'vent.

Pax Line to Nowhere

Foist, I noticed DS'. How many? Somewhere 'round infinity. Anything you trained yr eyes on that wasn't a DS sorta stood out. Punchline: I didn't see 8 PSPs that weekend. Standing in that 'posterous line, I began idly to finger my micro--not like that!!--simply to remind myself that things other than the DS existed. The kid behind me (looked like the singer dufus from Dagger of the Mind) had his DS in this nerf armor thing: I asked him can I fondle that, caress, and he surrendered the item. After cataloging it digitally, I pumped out the cart, just to see: he blanched as I eyeballed his Harvest Moon cart.

When I returned his lil' brick and 'parently 'barassing cart, he turned to his escort and thoroughly ignored the ol' Fat Man. I started reobserving the line: the shot above does no justice to this congregation. Lotta pasty, doughy flesh, and the novelty tshirt concession at this event would pay off a purchase of Mars.

I began to worry that the DS' would somehow cross-connect (using their built-in WiFi!!) and comprise a wholly new class of entity, along the lines of City Come A-Walkin'. Some new god, glinting dull silver and looming...

Eventually I broke free from the line, and hit the showroom floor. Obviously, my first stop was at the outpost of the greatest retail experience in my three odd decades on your homeworld: Pink Godzilla.

PAX Pink Godzilla PAX Pink Godzilla 2
PAX Pink Godzilla 3 PAX Pink Godzilla 4

Clockwise from top left:
That's. A. Lot. Of. Games.

That's. A. Lot. Of. Games. From a farther angle, with humans for scale.

Look very closely. The two--of all possible options!!--games on display 'pon monitors: the Japanese version of River City Ransom and a Dreamcast import shmup. (Trizeal or Trigger Heart Excelica; I forget which and am too plowed to research. I love you all.) River City Ransom and a late-era Dreamcast shmup. Pink Godzilla receives the first-ever Reviewiera Gets It award! Henceforth this award shall be known as the Pinkla!!

That fourth shot is a mix of the second and third.

I bought Electroplankton. Made my way 'round the corner, and was smitten by Alien Hominid. So I bebought it.

After all this Gross Consumption, I needed time to wander. I did. I wandered past the Nintendo fiefdom many times. Each time, I watched somebody play Metroid Prime: Corruption. Each time, I was disappointed in the look of the game, and the feel I could feel from 2.5 meters away. Each time I was disappointed for the 10 or so minutes I couldn't stop watching somebody play Metroid Prime: Corruption.


Off in a dusty corner, I saw a kid wearing a bag marked "Bag of Holding".

PAX Bag of Holding

Every ounce of nondouche I possess went into not knocking him over and turning his bag inside out.

Looky! Coswork!

PAX Halo

I couldn't bring myself to take pictures of actual booth babes. So I took a picture of this statue instead. The best booth babe, for the record, was the one for the Conan game.

PAX World of Warcraft

Oh, this was 'some. Saw her lounging 'round 'pon the 'mazing beanbags established for handheld gaming. Asked JGR's my favorite game can I take yr picture, she says Yah but lemme put back on my boots. Totally above and beyond! Nicely done, Gum!


Right near her were two dudes duded up in Phoenix Wright 'umes, but (a) PW drools and (ii) they weren't cute.

Two of my favorite things on your Earth are Metroid and cute.

PAX Metroid Hat

PAX Metroid Shirt

At the time, I wasn't aware of the assy 'nets trope "I has one ____"/"Oh noes! I lost my ____!" Thus was I substantially more charmed by this gal's homebrew shirt than perhaps I ought've been. But NO-ONE can front on her Metroid hat!!

I would seriously wear that hat.

5 Comments + Unabashed Criticism:

Blogger Fat Contradiction said...

Extra-thanks to DDT, btw, for the photo layout work!


5:50 AM  
Blogger d.d. tinzeroes said...

I thought the hordes of Dual Screens reminded you of 'Maneki Neko' or whatever that 1st story in Old Fashioned Future about pokkecons was called, not City Come A walkin...

I mean, same difference, sorta.

7:49 AM  
Blogger Fat Contradiction said...

It/they reminded me of both stories, but for the sake of clarity of exposition, I elided one of the references. Plus I'd rather shout-out Shirley than Sterling.

3:00 PM  
Blogger d.d. tinzeroes said...

City Come A Walkin' would be more dramatic, to say the least.

Too bad you couldn't whip out yr NeoGeo Pocket Color to remind yrself of the non-DSs of the world.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Fat Contradiction said...

Yah, I'm scoping the scene for a case charming enough to carry the lil' guy 'round w/ me. Some case in between my DS case (bulky blue thing big enough for an SP & adaptor + games) and my GBA case (ankle sock). The Picross game is getting its hooks in me, cuz I can feel my brain struggling with the logic puzzles...

8:09 PM  

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